Maturity is overrated!!

When Kevin and I got engaged, I was absolutely ecstatic! He was everything that I could want in a husband and more and I knew that God was at work well before we knew it. But there was a small part of me that was uneasy about the idea of moving away from what I known for the past several years. I knew that our getting married was also a call on my life to leave the "family" that I had established within my church home...a task I knew would be difficult in several ways.

I was a very active member of my church and the ministries I was called to by God. I was a dedicated participant in children's ministry, doing everything from Sunday school to the children's musical, youth activities to the afterschool program. Every Sunday morning I would wake up to the wonderful thought of seeing so many of the children at church that I had grown to love and care for, as if they were my own. There is so much to be said about children who have a love for God that is bigger than they are!! There were several Sundays when I would retreat back to my apartment and reflect on the things that THEY had taught me. And for the most part, these were children who were being nurtured at home by that same faith that I was privileged enough to teach them on Sunday morning. As an adult who was not brought up in the church, I was so impressed over and over again by the love and faith that these children had for their Jesus. I was often reminded of God's call on our life to come to him with a "childlike" faith and what that actually meant.

It was blatantly clear how these children had impacted my life, when you fast forward to our wedding day. We had two of "my girls" light the candles, two of "my girls" as flower girls, four of "my boys" as ushers, and countless children helping out in some way, shape, or form helping us to prepare for the big day!! The day before our wedding, I received a letter from one of my pastor's girls. It was the most simple, but most beautiful letters I had ever received. It very simply stated,

"Dear Michelle, I love you so much, because Jesus loved me first."

After our wedding, I knew that there was no option for me to be a part of the life of Church of the Cross any longer. Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset about that. I knew that when I married Kevin, I would have to serve alongside him at his churches and I was truly excited about that. But my heart was still hurting to leave behind the children I had been with for five years. Children I had watched sing their hearts out to the Lord as if He were the only one listening. Children who I knew had asked Jesus into their heart and were excited to tell me about it. Children who said they loved me sooo much because I was just a "big kid" to them. My Sunday mornings just wouldn't be the same anymore....or so I thought.

Kevin and I serve two small churches in rural areas, and the children that come are kind of few and far between. I wasn't sure how this was going to work for my children's ministry calling, but I knew that God would figure it out and lead the way, and boy did He ever. Three weeks ago, we had VBS at one of our churches where we had almost fifty kids in attendance. It was amazing! On the last day, as I stood before those children leading them in song, I got a little teary eyed as I watched them tell Jesus that they would "love and serve him everyday, in every way". In the weeks that followed VBS, I had Sunday school rotation at our other church. One particular Sunday we had a visitor from out of town and their child had never been in church before but he came down to Sunday school anyways. Yesterday I received a phone call from his grandmother, who is a regular parishner at our church. She said to me that the whole way home, he was telling all he had learned and how he couldn't wait to go back. This week that same child is attending VBS in his hometown. God is good!!

Over and over again, I have been accused of being childish or immature for my age. Kevin and I joke around a lot that maturity is overrated, and while it sounds a bit silly, I now know that there is some truth to that. God calls us to be his "children", desiring to learn something new from Him each and every day. He doesn't expect us to have it all together all the time, better yet to pretend as if we do. If being an adult means never learning, never experiencing, never hurting, never suffering, and never knowing what it means to trust in Him....I shall be a child forever!!

Preparing for Life

Yesterday was Kevin's official first day back at school for the fall semester and technically the first time since we have been married that he has been gone for nearly the entire day. Needless to say, I was a bit distraught over his leaving, and even tried to hold him in the bed by my fantastic twister moves (aka, my legs dramatically wrapped around his midsection)!!

After he broke free from my grasp, I got up with him and went downstairs, where I started his breakfast, packed his lunch (leaving a little note on a paper towel), loaded up his backpack, and got his clothes together while he showered. When he was finally ready to go, I gave hime a kiss and sent him on his way...

I knew that once he left, I had two options. I could go back to bed or I could do some things that I wouldn't normally do (clean the bathroom, kitchen, etc). So I decided that I would tackle the upstairs, do some laundry, and then head to the television to watch some silly show like "How Clean is Your House" and tell myself that at least my place isn't THAT bad!!! Kim and Aggie always make me feel great about my cleaning skills when you see some of the places they have to go!

So as I am fervently cleaning the upstairs, listening to the Christian pop station on Sirius radio, I somehow run over the cable wire and put the cable out!! Now I know this happens, but I don't know how to fix it and Kevin won't be home for HOURS! Michelle with no television is like an ocean with no water...it just doesn't happen!! But I never once stressed out about it. I just told myself that this was a perfect opportunity for me to clean the entire house, and give my husband something to be proud of when he got home.

So I cleaned...and cleaned....and cleaned!! I cleaned in places I didn't even know got dirty. And then when I finished cleaning, I decided I would have dinner ready for him when he got home too, so I started making spaghetti.

So around 6:00 pm, enter the husband...

He walks into the kitchen, gives me one of the best hugs I have received in quite a while, kisses me over and over and talks about how hungry he is and while it is true that dinner is almost done, I want him to notice the house!! I want him to see that I cleaned the bathroom and scrubbed the toilet!! I want him to see that I bleached the counters and did ALL the laundry, including rugs!! I want him to see that I made the bed, washed the sheets, vacuumed and dusted all the rooms, and cleaned out my closet!! So what do I do? I start pointing out things to him that I have done throughout the day...EVERYTHING!!!

I wanted credit, he wanted time with me!! I learned something yesterday. It doesn't matter what I do all day long, to Kevin, or more importantly, to God. Like my husband, God just wants my time, my heart, my love, and my compassion. I strive daily to give all these things to Kevin in any way that I can find, but I am well aware that I fall short in giving God that same attention.

So all the cleaning is done, and today all I have is some towels to wash. And to spend some intimate time with my Savior!!!!